Melancholy
by nxiro
Summary: He never cried in front of anyone, but that doesn't mean his pain does not exist. / HaruTaka, one-shot.


**Glancing at my calendar, I realized what day it was with a start.**

 **How could I call myself a true HaruTaka shipper when I completely forgot it was September 6th?**

 **My bad. I completely forgot. I've been so caught up with schoolwork that I have forgotten it is HaruTaka/KonoEne Day! Wow, already? Time sure flies. My love for this ship has not died down a bit, and I still love them just as much. I just wish to see more of their interactions, whether it be HaruTaka or KonoEne, in the new anime (and maybe even in a new song!) I wrote this real quick when I realized what day it was, and I must say, I am actually pretty proud of this, the idea and writing and all. I hope you enjoy this quick piece, and I will definitely have more pieces of writing to come!**

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White walls and the smell of detergent composed Haruka Kokonose's childhood and daily life.

There was no denying that he spent more time in the hospital than his own home. In a way, the hospital was his home itself, more so in the physical sense than the emotional sense. He had remembered every hallway, every turn, every wing perfectly already, and he knew exactly when each nurse and doctor in charge of him were on which shift. His bed was never dressed in anything but a white gown, and visits to a place unfamiliar to every normal person called the ICU were becoming more and more ordinary.

Haruka often wondered to himself about many things. The idea of school was nothing but a distant dream, a place, a _concept_ that was so far from his reach. He attended school only on the days he was well enough to, and those days definitely did not make up the majority. Even if he did manage to show up, he would have to sit out during gym, resulting in many unsuccessful attempts of making friends.

He, however, never complained about his life. He had the best parents he could ever wish for that loved him dearly, and the doctors and nurses around him were trusted adults that he could speak to about anything. Although he never made many friends, he was gifted with an interest and talent in art. He spent his days staring out the window at the cerulean sky and the soft, marshmallow-like clouds, capturing the beautiful scenery onto his sketchbook as the gentle breeze reassured him of the fact that he was _living_.

As his high school days approached him, however, Haruka was able to go to school frequently. He was placed in a special needs classroom with one teacher and one fellow classmate. Words could not describe how excited Haruka was; he was practically glowing as he arrived at school on the first day. He got to know his teacher, Mr. Kenjirou Tateyama, who was a middle-aged man that loved to joke around, lightening up the mood on multiple occasions. He also got to know his fellow classmate: Takane Enomoto.

She was a special girl, and Haruka felt this way as soon as he met her, although he couldn't understand why. She was loud, brash, and frank, and although one might think of her as mean and sharp-tongued (which she was, to a certain degree), Haruka knew that deep inside, she cared about others and had a kind heart. She had her own insecurities and uncertainties, which Haruka understood. Despite their differences in personality, Haruka Kokonose and Takane Enomoto became best friends.

Being a cheerful boy with a slight air-headedness to him, Haruka approached life with a positive attitude. However, he was still human, and so despite seeming strong, he had his own fears and tears that he hid well. Nobody, not even Takane, knew about the nights he spent alone, crying and terrified of the passage of time and how much of it he had left.

Although he was generally well enough to go to high school, Haruka still fell ill multiple times and had to be hospitalized. Takane visited him frequently, if not every day, talking to him and keeping him company. The two of them spent endless evenings together, and Takane would always leave at the setting of the sun.

Haruka stared at the spot Takane was just at minutes ago, a strange loneliness creeping into his heart. At this moment, he felt more alone and scared than ever. He was just told that he may not have a lot of time left to spend, and his heart clenched with fear and desperation. Involuntary tears trickled down his cheek, and not even his usual smile and positive attitude could force them away.

Just how much time did he have left? How many more sunrises? How many more sunsets? How many more words could he exchange with Takane? How many more secret glances could he steal at the girl? He didn't know. Just thinking about the answers to these questions, all of them being "Not enough", made his tears fall faster and his heart clench tighter.

"Hey, I'm back 'cuz I forgot somethi-" The girl at the door stopped dead in her tracks, and Haruka looked up. Takane's black eyes widened as she stared at him, and her hand dropped to her side. Her expression of disbelief was shown clear on her face as her gaze focused on his tears and the absence of his usual smile.

"Takane…?"

"Are you crying?" she asked, walking slowly towards him. Her voice shook from shock and heartache.

"Ah… I am?" asked Haruka, wiping away the tears that kept rolling. "I'm not crying, Takane. I'm not crying."

"Stop lying." said Takane, biting her lip. "Have you been doing this all along? Hiding your tears and pain underneath a smile? Crying to yourself only when nobody's around?"

"I really… can't hide anything from you, can I?" asked Haruka, smiling sadly. He stared into the girl's eyes, watching her come closer to him.

"Are you an idiot?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"I guess I am. Haha, I can't help it…" said Haruka.

With one swift movement, Takane wrapped her arms around Haruka, pressing her face into his chest. He felt teardrops fall onto his shirt and melt into the soft fabric. He was surprised; Takane never, ever hugged him, and she rarely cried in front of him.

"Are you crying, Takane?" asked Haruka, resting his hand onto Takane's head.

"I'm not crying," said Takane, her voice muffled. "You are."

"I guess I am." said Haruka, laughing. He patted Takane's head, and the two of them stayed in a tight embrace until Takane pulled away.

"Why did you keep all of this a secret?" she asked, her eyes red from crying. "Aren't we friends? Am I not trustworthy enough? Just what am I to you?"

"To me, you're someone that cannot be replaced in my life, Takane." said Haruka, taking Takane's hands. "You're special. That's why I didn't want you to see this… ugly side of me."

"I want to know." Takane's words surprised Haruka. She gripped his hands back. "Tell me."

Takane's words seemed to break down the walls of Haruka's heart, and soon, the tears returned.

"I've always been worried… My illness isn't as harmless as I make it seem like… I might not have much time left." said Haruka, trying to stop his voice from shaking. "That's something I can't change. But I can't help wondering… Why does it have to be me? Why can't I have a normal body? Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to suffer like this? I don't want any of this… I don't want this kind of body…. I don't… I don't want to die…!"

Takane stayed silent at Haruka's words, her bangs shadowing over her teary eyes. "You're really an idiot…" she said finally.

"…I'm being quite serious, you know…" said Haruka, a sad laugh creeping into his voice.

"That's why you're an idiot!" Takane yelled. Haruka stared at her, surprised. "Why have you been worrying about all of this alone? Haruka… You're not alone! Don't you have me?"

Haruka's eyes widened as he stared at the girl in front of him. The girl's words were so powerful, and they seemed to echo throughout the room. There was so much power, so much strength in that petite figure of hers that Haruka had always borrowed, and today again, the amazing girl changed his life completely. Just like their encounter.

"You're really amazing, Takane…" said Haruka, wiping away his tears. He smiled brightly, just like he always did when they were together. "I guess that's why I love you so dearly."

Gazing at the beet-red, stuttering, terribly cute girl in front of him, Haruka smiled to himself.

If it's for her, then he'll live just a little longer.

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 **I hope you liked that quick little story for HaruTaka/KonoEne day. Please review, and I will see you soon!**

 **~nxiro**


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